Scientific and Technical Communication: Theory, Practice and Policy

Introduction

Whatever kind of technical communicator you become, most of your work will involve correspondence. Each working day the United States produces some ninety million business letters and more than twice that number of memos. The number of electronic messages is more difficult to calculate, but it is almost certainly as large: workers in a networked organization are likely to receive and send between twenty-five and one hundred messages a day. A laboratory technician might use a letter to order glassware from a medical supplies catalogue; a human resource manager might compose a memo to inform her assistants that the application deadline for a certain position is approaching; an electrical engineer in Los Angeles might use electronic mail to inform a colleague in Tokyo of the existence of a new integrated circuit design.

In recent years the telephone has replaced the document for many applications. But documents are still necessary in at least two common instances:

1) when a permanent record of the communication is required by the authorizing organization or desired by either or both of the communicating parties, and

2) when the subject of the correspondence is complex enough that a receiver will need to study its details.

Because such correspondence is standardized, much of the writing process is simply a matter of accommodating formats to various audiences. Many organizations provide workers with "style sheets" or software programs which contain sample memoranda and sample letters a user may tailor to particular needs, in some cases merely by replacing a few names. This chapter is a kind of style sheet, it will discuss samples of memoranda and formal letters, and show you how to tailor them to specific ends.

Memorandums

Memorandums (or memos) are used primarily within an organization, where authors and readers are likely to see each other often. Consequently, the design of memos dispenses with ceremony; their tone may be likewise informal.

Aesop Educational Software
1118 Santa Luis Blvd.
San Diego, CA 55431

Memorandum

To: Rikki O'Neill, Bud Kelley Marketing

From: Sam Collins, Software Design

Subject: more thoughts on the Worldview CD marketing strategy

Date: July 16, 2003

Most memorandums are written on a blank form headed by the logo or letterhead of the organization, the title "Memorandum" or "Memo," and blanks arranged vertically, each preceded by its label: "To," "From," "Subject," and "Date."

The "To" and "From" headings are followed with names and titles. Most memos are filed; should someone need to research a certain project years after its completion, she may need to know names of individuals because she may want to contact them; she may want to know their positions in order to determine their role in the project. The "Subject" heading is followed with a phrase describing the content of the memo, allowing a reader to decide whether she needs to continue reading. The phrase should be as specific as possible: a subject line like "preliminary results of airbag test" is preferred over "airbag test." The "Date" heading is followed, of course, with the date. Be careful to refer to the month by its name: the workforce is increasingly cosmopolitan, and in many cultures 1/12/95 means December 12.

Below the heading, standard memos contain six sections.

Just a note with a few thoughts about the multi-media package marketing strategy.

The Worldview CD package has been aimed primarily at the 9-12 age group; I think there may be reasons to redirect it to adults.

We had the prototype at home last night, and my brother-in-law was visiting. I showed it to him, and four hours later he'd run through every video in the mini-encyclopedia, taken the tour of the outer solar system and learned to identify several North American conifers. My point is, the man is technologically illiterate, and by the end of the night he was showing me how to make the CD do things even I didn't know it could do.

What I'm saying is this system has several features, among them the tutorial system, with great appeal to adults.

I know you folks have thought about this a lot longer than I have, but I thought you would want to hear this. If we're going to make any serious changes in the marketing plan, we need to do it soon. I'll be in St. Louis at the HDTV conference next week, and I'd like to talk this over before I leave. If you could get back to me about this before Thursday, I'd appreciate it.

SC/dwt

Because many messages cross a reader's desk (or computer screen) daily, the first thing she is likely to ask upon seeing one is "Should I read this?" The purpose answers that question. A very direct opening like "The purpose of this memo is to ..." is perfectly acceptable.

The summary is a brief recounting of the entire memo, including discussion/background, conclusions, and recommendation. Its placement as the second section allows a reader who does not need to know the details to stop reading.

The discussion/background describes the method by which the conclusion was reached. This section provides details of the subject and the justification for the conclusion. This is often the largest section of a memo; it is directed to those who need to know details, laboratory assistants and clerical staff, for instance.

The conclusion is derived directly and obviously from information described in discussion/background. In other words, the reader, given the same background, should be able to draw the same conclusion. If the connection is less than obvious, the conclusion should explain it.

The recommendation/action offers the author's opinion of what should be done regarding the conclusion.

The assurance of continued communication may appear as a single line: "If you have any questions regarding these recommendations, please contact me at x1212 or drop by my office (Rm. 912)." Some authors omit this section, assuming that it is implied; we recommend its inclusion as a means to ensure that the reader does not feel alienated, however upsetting the content of the memo.

As with letters, a copies line indicates the people (or groups) to whom copies of the letter have been sent, referred to collectively as the letter's distribution route. They may be listed alphabetically, or by rank in descending order. The initials of the author and typist may be appended near the end of the document.

Because the author of the "Aesop" memo sees his audience often, he uses an informal tone. Still, he follows the format his readers expect, makes his reasoning clear and his request precise. For some authors, finding such a balance can be difficult. As the following example demonstrates, informality can too easily slip into sheer carelessness.

November 10, 2003

Magellan Chemical Division
Neworld Chemical of Delaware
_____________________

1133 St. Catherine Street
Wilmington, DE 11221

To: D.M. Harker
From: J. Abrams

The solvent has contacted a Mr. John Robins at Quigley re making some PS labels for us and Bill Morris would like us to be advised. Mr. Robins had good words to say about our activity their.

J. Abrams

/raf c: file

Unless Harker has been working on the same part of the same project (an unlikely situation), this note will confuse him. The twisted syntax and misspelled possessive pronoun do little to help matters. In general, the author has written to himself, recognizing neither his immediate audience (Harker) nor his less immediate audience ("file").

Memos appear in numerous types: among the most widely-used are directives, inquiries, responses to inquiries, and memo-reports. The divisions of the format discussed above may be adjusted to any.

Directives

Directives are demands by a person of authority addressed to a person or persons of less authority. They are written to announce changes in standard procedures, to direct or re-direct specific jobs and, as in the following example, to warn against a certain activity.

Cold River University
Nashua, NH 77211

MEMORANDUM

DATE: December 12, 2003

TO: Leslie Haynesworth
Assistant to the Dean

FROM: Tuan Nguyen
Director of Fiscal Resources

SUBJECT: Charge Card Use Restriction Violation: Travel Card Cancellation Pending

This memo is to notify you of an apparent violation in the use of your university-issued travel card, and to recommend that you review your records.

In accordance with the State Controller's Directive No. 1-88 concerning charge card usage, your December, 2003 charges have been reviewed for compliance. These charges may be in violation of the following card use restriction: As described in the 1995 Employee Handbook, pp. 81-2, current regulations accept only charges for University travel-related expenses.

Personal charges have been placed on your travel card, thus violating this restriction.

Please examine your travel card charges to determine if personal charges are on your statement. Personal charges must be paid before the next billing period or you may have to forfeit your travel card privilege. Should you have further questions or wish to discuss your account, please contact me at 555-1212.

TN/ep

The danger for an author of a directive involves the tone: certainly the author of a directive may have cause to adopt a relatively formal tone. But the author should not allow formality to turn discourteous and insensitive. Nguyen may be all but certain that Haynesworth has put his card to personal use; Haynesworth may know he has put his card to personal use (he may know, in fact, that she purchased Christmas presents with it); and Nguyen may be fairly certain Haynesworth knows. Still, Nguyen is respectful, not only for ethical reasons (he does not want to make or imply an accusation), but for practical ones: he wants a response from Haynesworth. A directive memo might counter a sense that it is overly demanding by commending workers, "Thanks to your quick response to the problems of last week, we are ahead of schedule. Nice work."

Inquires and Responses to Inquires

Inquiries and responses to inquires may vary the same format. Far more than directives, inquiries and responses to inquiries involve detailed information. Consequently, their discussion/background section may be larger, and other sections may be abbreviated. A full two-thirds of the response to an inquiry below is background.

TerraNova Marine Systems Research, Inc.

1221 Seabrook Road
Chincateague, VA 33902

_________________________

MEMORANDUM

DATE: January 4, 2003

TO: Maria Cortez
Chief Engineer

FROM: Anton Ramonov, Jennifer Regan
Project Technicians

SUBJECT: Evaluation of SYS21 three-dimensional modeling software system

PURPOSE/SUMMARY:

In answer to your request of 12/1/03, this memo describes this laboratory's evaluation of the SYS21 three-dimensional modeling software system, and makes recommendations for local implementation. It concludes that use in the design division would allow it to remain competitive and would speed work on the Atlantis project.

BACKGROUND:

Our laboratory examined and compared three software 3-D modeling systems, comparing cost, ease of use and computing power. Other factors (previous contracts with the manufacturer, accessories unrelated to the graphics program, for instance) were considered but deemed non-essential, and did not influence our recommendation.

The Burnett system was both easy to use and inexpensive. Our five test subjects learned to use the program competently within a few hours; and the total cost would be approximately $5500.00. The disadvantage of the Burnett program is that the system may not be powerful enough to address the demanding graphic needs of the project. Several test subjects reported for instance, that the program's memory allowed the display of only one three-dimensional image at a time.

The Anderson system was powerful and relatively inexpensive. Again, our test subjects reported that the program performed all necessary functions quickly and effectively. The total cost was $6200.00. The disadvantage is that the system is difficult to learn and, from all indications, difficult to use. Each of our test subjects reported trouble in many areas, including rotating the image on the y axis, recalling images and redrawing lines.

The SYS21 system is relatively inexpensive ($6400.00), easy to use and extremely powerful. The system includes a true three-dimensional modeling program usable on a personal computer, in which designs are constructed with x, y, and z coordinate data (like the mainframes), but also a programming language built into the program. These qualities offer the user ease of use and computing power available in no other system.

CONCLUSION:

The Atlantis project will require a great deal of geometrical modeling, specifically to depict topographies of the Mid-Atlantic Ridge as they changed over the last 500,000 years and will change over the next 100,000. For this reason a powerful graphics program is essential to the project's progress. Time constraints require that the program be easy to learn and easy to use, and fiscal restraints demand that it be inexpensive. Of the three three-dimensional modeling systems considered, the SYS21 best addresses all these needs. Further, the system gives every indication of being useful on subsequent projects. This laboratory, therefore, recommends that the SYS21 system be purchased.

c: J. Lewis, D. Martin

Memo-reports

Traditionally, memos have been limited in length to one or two pages. In the last ten years, however, there has appeared a type of document which combines elements of traditional "for your information" memos with elements of longer reports. Such documents are sometimes called memo-reports; they run between three and five pages. Memo-reports contain more information than can be conveyed in a standard memo, but are less ceremonious than are more formal reports (see Rhetoric Chapter Thirteen: Technical Reports). The response to an inquiry above might easily be extended to a memo-report with a more detailed discussion of the procedures for evaluating the modeling system or, perhaps, the inclusion of the survey form given to the test subjects.

Electronic Correspondence

Electronic correspondence has already changed the workplace, the laboratory and the classroom. Many offices use electronic mail systems for memos; scientists regularly exchange data via facsimile machines; college instructors conduct classes which "meet" on computer networks.

Facsimiles

A facsimile (more comonly called a "fax") is a document which is sent by a fascmile or "fax" machine through common telephone lines and/or fiber-optic cables to another fax machine. The process is fast; it is also especially useful when the document must be reproduced precisely (as is the case with certain contracts) and when visuals are involved (as is the case with architectural renderings and preliminary product designs).

Electronic mail

Many professionals communicate through electronic mail (more commonly called e-mail), that is, communication systems which allow a user to send messages from one computer terminal to another. Messages can be mailed to one or to hundreds with little or no difference in effort. They are received by a computer file called a "mailbox", and operating as a mailbox: when the owner of a mailbox wants to see a message, she must key into the terminal her password, a series of letters, numerals or symbols which does not appear on the screen. She may view, file or delete the message at any time after the terminal receives it.

Many organizations use an internal e-mail system for memos. If a worker is using her computer in another activity, she may be alerted that a memo has entered her mailbox by a frozen screen and a displayed message like "New mail has arrived. Press 'ctrl/enter' to clear." At this point she may read the new mail, or return to her previous activity. Most systems allow the sender to append to a message a title which will appear to a reader before she reads the message.

Workplaces are only beginning to appreciate the variety of behavior involving e-mail. Certain workers read it, file it and/or dispose of it conscientiously; others allow their mailboxes to overflow. Because e-mail can be easily composed and easily delivered, it may be less carefully considered and less polished than other writing. The content seems to differ too. Otherwise careful and courteous writers, when using e-mail, tend towards extreme decisions and anti-social behavior. Evidently the freedom allowed by the absence of formal constraints and the speed with which e-mail is composed and sent has made its users think themselves free of the formalities of the letter. These are generalizations: exactly how e-mail changes communication is the subject of several ongoing studies. For the moment, the best advice is

1) take special care to proofread;

2) do not assume that your audience has read the mail you send; and

3) avoid making decisions over an e-mail network.

E-mail and Privacy

The Electronic Communications Privacy Act of 1986 prohibits interception of e-mail by individuals or groups outside the organization in question. It does not prohibit interception within the organization. In the hundreds of cases that have already arisen regarding this issue, courts have ruled that interoffice communication private only when the author (or sender) had a "reasonable expectation" of privacy. And the courts regarded that legitimate expectation was rare.

Scientists, engineers and technical communicators of all kinds use e-mail: its advantages are freedom from the mechanics of stamps and envelopes, and sheer speed. Further, e-mail offers many writers the illusion that they are not writing, and so frees them from writer's block. External e-mail has evolved the beginning of an etiquette (which Internet users call "netiquette"). Keying a word in capital letters, for instance, is like yelling the word, and is regarded as rude. And because most e-mail systems cannot represent italics or boldface, users have found other ways to color their prose, the most notable being symbols called emoticons. The emoticon :-) is meant to represent a smiling face (best seen when viewed sideways), and means that the writer's intention is good-humored. The emoticon ;-) is meant to represent a winking smile, and suggests that the writer is being ironic. Other keyboard symbols have been given new uses: an ampersand (&) which ends a letter, for instance, means "I look forward to hearing from you."

Most electronic letters do not follow standard formats, and read like memos, or even transcripts of telephone conversations. In part, this informality is a symptom of a primitive technology (many of the systems make editing functions like "cutting and pasting" difficult); but it is also a result of the user's regard for the medium as casual, and the document as less permanent. Still, there are no serious technological barriers to writing an electronic letter which is both formal and free of errors. In fact, when you begin a relationship using e-mail, you would be wise to use the letter format discussed below, and to proofread as carefully as you would a paper letter. You would also be wise to avoid emoticons, which some readers regard as unprofessional.

Most organizations still insist that correspondence be on paper. By some estimates more than 90 percent of the documents of American organizations is paper, most of it for records. The reason is that although the technology for storing documents electronically is well developed, the technology for retrieving documents, especially from large databases, is not. Like most situations in technology, this is changing. But for the immediate future, the advantages of electronic documents will be exploited while the advantages of paper documents will be retained. Electronic documents will be preferred for creation, editing, storage and communication, and paper documents will be preferred (indeed will be essential) for easy reference, and for communication between individuals who are not electronically connected. Finally, paper will continue to be used because many people have an emotional sense that paper documents, perhaps because they can be handled, are more legitimate than their electronic counterparts.

Electronic Conferences

Electronic conferences operate as does e-mail, except that the communication is more immediate: users may communicate almost as quickly as they can key. When a given user keys and sends her message, her name and her message will appear on the screens of everyone participating in the conference. Most systems also allow users to send private messages to particular members of the conference.

This particular technology is changing organizational norms; it allows for more bottom-up contributions, and so forces a more democratic decision process. Indeed, a kind of electronic democracy was the vision inspiring the first on-line White House news conference via the Compuserve information network in January 1994. Three hundred computer users engaged in a conference moderated by Bill Altman, a writer at U.S. News & World Report. As the following excerpts from the official transcript suggests, the information superhighway might be prone, on occasion, to traffic jams.

(Larry H. Lewis) is this working?
(John C. Burns) why am I not posting
(Rebecca Winters) Oh, now it is.
(Annette Leonard) is this working?
(Zach) Can everybody hear/see me all right?
(Josh Harris) buffer
(Byron Odwazny) hello/status
(Jim Casey) Yes zach
(Zach) Thanks.
(Ben Huntoon) implimentation of Internet technology among
(Ben Huntoon) wealthy and poor school districts?
(STEVEN R. KOSS) should I see my # and name after hitting return?
(Hugh McArthur) ??
(Jim Casey) Steven: No.
(Sara Arnold) Hi.

. . .

(george smart) Please anyone, confirm you wee me
(mike powers) CAN ANYONE TELL ME HOW TO SEE WHAt I', SENDING?
(Larry H. Lewis) Do we have to ask super-highway questions?
(Edward Felker) [~[v:~rq
(MICHAEL GEBERT) HELLO
(John C. Burns) \/buffer
(deibert) hi everybody
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) the moderator this afternoon. Vice President
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) Gore will join us online from his office
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) in the West Wing of the White House in a
(Chrysanne Poole) O//send hello
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) "question" [/question], which will put you in
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) the question queue. When you get the message
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) that it is your turn to ask a question,
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) please begin by telling us where you are
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) from. It is not necessary to state your
(Josh Harris) How does this conference work?
(Gary E. Hogsten) Hello from hellohello
(Bill Altman/US NEWS) name, as this appears automatically. You
(Jonathan Flinger) Hi Bill

...

Letters

With almost no exceptions, standard business letter format is used throughout technical and scientific community. The predictability of the format allows for easier reading and more rapid processing. The layout is tactful and even ceremonious, and so demonstrates both respect for the reader and the professionalism of the author and her organization.

Letters include eight parts: outside heading, inside heading, subject line, salutation, body, closure, signature, and identification line. A common design, modified block with paragraph indentations, is presented in the letter outline here. There are two other common designs, full block and modified block, which appear in examples below.

(author's organization)
(author's street address)
(author's city, state, zip code)
(month, day, year)

(addressee's name)
(addressee's title)
(name of organization)
(address of organization)
(city, state, zip code)

Subject: (brief phrase describing content of the letter)

Dear (addressee's name):

(Closure),

(author's name)
(author's title)
(author's Internet address)

(initials of author and typist)
(indication of enclosed material)
c: (names of others to whom copies of this letter were sent)

The letter's top margin should be one and one-half inches; the letter's side and bottom margins should be one inch or one and one-half inches. Most word processing software automatically sets margins at the latter spacing.

1) The outside heading includes the return address and the date of the letter's composition. The lines of the return address are single spaced; the line containing the date is placed two lines below these. If letterhead containing the address of the company is used, then you need supply only the date. The left margin of the outside heading begins two to three inches from the left edge of the page, and so makes an internal margin. If information usually given on a single line runs over, the next line should be indented three spaces to the right of the internal margin. (Electronic typewriters have made internal margins optional, the outside heading of much correspondence shares its left margin with the rest of the letter.)

2) The inside heading is single-spaced. It may be placed anywhere from two to eight lines below the date; its exact position is determined by the length of the body of the letter, and the need to place the center of the body on the center of the page. The shorter the body, the greater the number of lines between outside and inside headings.

The first line of the inside heading is the name of the addressee. If you are initiating contact, you may not know that person's name; in such a case you should find it, a phone call to a receptionist might be easiest. The name should be preceded by a "Ms." or a "Mr." If you have been supplied with only a first initial or a name common to both sexes, and so do not know the gender of the addressee, call the receptionist.

As addressees, some persons are neither "Ms." nor "Mr."; the Archbishop of Baltimore and the Princess of Wales, for instance, are "His Excellency" and "Her Royal Highness." If you suspect that such is the case, refer to the "Forms of Address" section found in most dictionaries and encyclopedias. Because an individual may have many titles, the one you name here should be relevant to the subject of your letter. If the title is one word, "manager," for instance, place it on the same line as the name separated from the name by a comma. If the title is more than one word, like "Director of Personnel", place it on its own line and do not use a comma after it.

The remainder of the inside heading, the organization with which the addressee is associated and location of the organization, require no comment except that the correct spelling of the organization, like the correct spelling of the addressee's name, is imperative. If you have doubts as to how an organization refers to itself (whether it prefers an acronym to its full name, for instance), refer to its letterhead or an advertisement.

3) The subject line is optional. It appears two lines below the inside heading and two lines above the salutation. It describes in a few words the content of the letter.

4) The salutation is placed two lines below the last line of the inside heading (or, if there is a subject line, two lines below it), and almost always is composed of the (capitalized) word "Dear," the addressee' title, her surname, and a colon.

5) The body of a letter is single-spaced between lines, double-spaced between paragraphs. In standard paragraph layout, the first line of each paragraph is indented five spaces (the "default" setting on the tab command of most word processing programs is set to this). In block-paragraph layout, the first line is not indented; the reader is alerted to the beginning of a new paragraph only by the double space. Although block-paragraph layout is increasingly common, some readers may regard it as too informal for professional correspondence.

6) The closure is placed two spaces below the last line of the body; if the outside heading introduced an internal margin, the closure shares that margin. "Sincerely" suits most occasions. Two others are also common: "Respectfully" (which suggests subservience), or "Yours" (which suggests allegiance of one equal to another).

"Yours truly" and the less common "Yours very truly" seem old fashioned, and may suggest either naiveté (the author has neither read nor written many letters), or, worse, false sincerity. Occasionally a writer who is writing professional correspondence to a friend will be tempted towards a more imaginative close, "Yours 'till the ocean needs diapers to keep its bottom dry," for instance. Be cautioned against such experiments because all written correspondence is filed: if your organization becomes the target of a legal investigation, that letter, with all the organization's records, may be subpoenaed, in which case your imagination (although much appreciated elsewhere) may reflect poorly on your organization's professionalism.

7) The signature appears in the four lines between the closure and the identification line. It should be made in black ink because other colors may not copy clearly.

8) The identification line is placed four spaces below the closure and shares the internal margin. It appears immediately below the signature, and it should match the signature letter for letter. The layout regarding the name of the position of the author should follow the same rules as those for the name of the position of the addressee. In recent years authors with Internet addresses have begun to place that address on a line directly beneath the line on which appears position of the author, and sharing its internal margin. (Professionals in recent years have taken to having that address printed on business cards as well.)

Letters have four optional elements: the enclosure(s) line, the copies line and the initials of the author and typist. Whichever element is first appears two lines below the identification line, and all return to the left margin.

1) The attention line appears two lines below the inside heading. It may read as "Attention: Public Relations" or "Attn. Maria Cortez." The attention line is used when the letter may be read and acted upon by anyone within the organization. Accordingly, the attention line is not used when the inside heading begins with a person's name.

2) The enclosure(s) line alerts the reader to the presence of documents, checks, photographs or other materials contained within the envelope. Those materials may be numbered and may be identified. In other words, the word "Enclosure" or the abbreviation "Encl." may appear alone. Or, the word "Enclosure" or its abbreviation may be followed by a colon and an Arabic number representing the number of documents, not the number of pages, enclosed. The line might appear: "Enclosures: 3." Or, the word "Enclosure" or its abbreviation might be followed by a colon and a description of the material enclosed. The line might appear: "Enclosure: résumé" or "Encl.: final report."

3) The copies line indicates the people to whom copies of the letter have been sent, sometimes referred to collectively as the letter's distribution route. The line appears as "c:" followed by names (and perhaps associated titles) listed either across the page, or listed vertically. (Until recently the line appeared as "cc:", an abbreviation for "carbon copies.")

4) The initials of the author and typist are given to demonstrate that the author did not key the letter, and so be absolved from blame for typographical errors. The author's initials are given first, in capitals; the typist's initials appear in lower case after a slash or a colon. The line might appear: "DMT: jc" or "JC/dmt."

Formulaic Letters

Much professional correspondence is formulaic. Common formulaic letters are letters of transmittal, letters of complaint, and responses to a complaint. Standard formats make this correspondence easy to write; the author may use the format as a checklist. Standard formats also make it and easy to read; the reader expects to see information presented in a certain order. New or unexpected information is made more apparent.

Letters of transmittal

A letter of transmittal reports the sending of goods or material to their receiver. The purpose of a letter of transmittal is twofold: 1) to provide a legal record of the transmittal, and 2) to ensure (or at least make possible) continued relations between sender and receiver. It may precede that sending, or may accompany it. The format is as follows:

1) statement of the purpose of letter,

2) identification of the goods or material,

3) description of goods or material,

4) summary of cost, and

5) a closing statement which encourages a continued relationship.

Each element is accorded an entire paragraph. This example has a "block" design: all lines begin at the left margin.

CYBERSYSTEMS CORPORATION 3811 Hawaii Avenue
Washington, DC 20060

November 1, 2006

Mr. Sergio Demo
Purchasing Agent
Save the Robots, Inc.
Waukeegan, IL 33456

Dear Mr. Demo:

This letter is to inform you that your order of October 21 was sent today via Federal Express under invoice #3319.

Two 2' x 2' x 1.5'' boxes are involved. Each contains one Mark 5 computer. They should be kept right-side-up, and out of temperatures lower than 25°ree; F and higher than 100°ree; F. They should also be kept from excessive moisture.

A bill derived from the list price of the computers, $1339.00, is enclosed. Your total bill, including shipping and handling, is $2711.00.

Should the machines in any way fail to meet your expectations, please call our sales representative in your area, Ms. Kristen Ramussen, at (818) XXX-XXXX.

Yours,

Richard Dassatti
Manager of Shipping

RD: swk

Letter of Complaint

Much profesional communication involves correcting problems and misunderstandings. To allow such communication to proceed usefully, a standard format has evolved for a letter of complaint. Most organizations answer even the most poorly written letters of complaint conscientiously. Nonetheless, all other factors being equal, a well-written letter of complaint gets results more quickly than does a poorly-written one. But an angry letter may be ineffective even when it is well-written. Consider that the reader is likely a worker in a public relations department; because his entire job is to respond to letters of complaint, he will not be motivated by threats. On the other hand, his work will be facilitated by clarity and predictability.

The first paragraph describes purchase history and proof of purchase. It offers evidence that the letter's author did in fact purchase the product; had she stolen it or bought it through a second party which did not represent the manufacturer, the manufacturer could not be held responsible for the product's alleged defects.

The second paragraph describes the problem, but does not try to explain it, thus allowing the manufacturer to begin to determine the cause with as little bias as possible.

The third paragraph attempts to explain the problem. Because the author is an admitted amateur on the subject, her opinion is qualified by its separation in this paragraph; it is offered merely as a courtesy to the reader.

The fourth paragraph, the most important, simply asks for redress. The nature of the redress is of course decided by the author, and any reasonable request will likely be granted. Most organizations prefer to send another product or offer improved service rather than make financial reimbursement, the reason being the desire to retain a customer.

21 Perry Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060

January 7, 2006

Ms. Grace Bauer
Director of Product Management
Shoobedoowop Industries
30 Palisades Park Drive
Pittsburgh, PA 15217

Dear Ms. Bauer:

On January 5, 2006 I purchased from your Blacksburg, Virginia outlet one "Under the Boardwalk" software package. The invoice number is 33122, and I have enclosed a copy of the receipt.

When I used the program to access one of my files, the screen went blank for a moment, then there appeared in the center of the screen an expletive. I was able to erase the expletive only by turning the computer off, and I have since been unable to access any file.

The appearance of the expletive suggests to me that a computer "bug" was inserted into the software package deliberately, perhaps during the manufacturing process.

Because I have long admired your products, I am requesting that you send me another "Under the Boardwalk" software package. But I am also requesting that your product control division test the package first.

Yours,

Michael Martin

c: Mary Oliver, Director of Public Relations.
(The copies line is employed here not so much to inform Oliver as to motivate Bauer.)

Letters Responding to a Complaint

There is also a standard format for a response to a letter of complaint. The appeal of this too, is to efficiency, and a means to short-circuit anger. The first paragraph establishes the situation's background, referring to the letter of complaint by date and thanking the reader for identifying the problem. The second paragraph explains the problem. The third paragraph informs the reader that her request is granted. The fourth and final paragraph expresses a hope in the reader's continued use of the product or service.

Shoobedoowop Industries
__________________________
30 Palisades Park Drive
Palo Alto, FL 15217

January 8, 2006

Mr. Michael Martin
21 Perry Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060

Dear Mr. Martin:

Thank you for your letter of January 3 regarding the faulty "Under the Boardwalk" software package. Input from customers like yourself are essential if our manufacturing process is to maintain its tradition of high standards.

Your letter suggested that a computer "bug" may have been inserted into the software package deliberately. You are essentially correct; we have since determined the source of the problem lay in the manufacture. We assure you that it will not recur.

As you requested we are sending with this letter a fresh and pre-tested "Under the Boardwalk" software package. Again, thank you for your letter; we hope you will continue to use our products.

Yours,

Grace Bauer
Director of Product Management

P.S. I am enclosing our new spring catalogue; I draw your attention especially to the "My Girl" package described on page 23.

As with all correspondence that responds to previous correspondence, the previous is identified by its date. This practice makes written correspondence, also filed according to date, easy to retrace. The tone of the letter flatters the reader's intelligence, regarding her complaint as something like concern. It does not apologize for the problem; neither does it explain it in great detail; rather, it moves the reader's attention to the fact that the problem has been solved. Obviously, the postscript is an attempt to ensure that relations are continued.

A response to a complaint that refuses to grant the reader's request would use an almost identical format: the difference would lie in the second paragraph (which would not so much restate the reader's complaint as explore the situation surrounding it) and the third paragraph (which would, of course, tactfully refuse the request).

Persuasive Letters

As the early chapters of this book suggest, all communication tries to persuade. Certainly, though, some communication uses more persuasive techniques than do others. The most persuasive types of formal correspondence are letters of inquiry and sales letters. A letter of inquiry tries to persuade its reader to take the time to answer the request, and a sales letter tries to persuade the reader to make a purchase.

As useful as formula are, they have disadvantages: especially for persuasive letters, formula may inhibit the message of the letter and hide ideas, or suggest that the author lacks imagination. Consequently, authors of persuasive letters may alter standard formats or abandon them altogether.

Letters of Inquiry

A letter of inquiry asks for information or a service. A graduate student in biology might write a certain biochemist to solicit background information implied in one of his articles. Or, the purchaser of an automobile might write to the manufacturer regarding a troublesome red light on the dashboard.

The standard response to a letter of inquiry has three or four parts, they may be paragraphs or only sentences. The first identifies the reader with respect to the subject of the letter. The second requests the information or service. The part offers the author's rationale for choosing reader as preferred source. Most authors use this part to compliment the reader's expertise. The fourth (which is optional) states any conditions regarding author's need for information. If the author needs information as background for a feasibility study, for instance, he will want the information as he begins it.

Department of Communication
McBryde Hall
Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, VA 24061
(703) XXX-XXXX

September 19, 2006

Professor Linda Kerr
Department of Journalism
Lehigh University
Bethlehem, PA 18018

Dear Professor Kerr:

This letter is to solicit your contribution to a new collection of articles in technical communications entitled This Isn't Rocket Science, to be published in 2001 by Goddard Press. This Isn't Rocket Science will be a collection of readings concerned with multidisciplinary perspectives on the relation of language, science, technology and society to the process of technical communication.

Because of your high regard in the field (and especially the respect garnered by your book Mr. Wizard: More Than Just a Lab Coat), we would welcome a contribution, whether new or previously published. The article should be 20-25 pages, double-spaced. Enclosed is a table of contents and brief outline to which you may refer for possible topics. As you will note, the range of topics is wide; still, these are only guidelines. Because we will be designing the chapters around your article, you should feel free to re-conceive a chapter.

I would appreciate your contribution by February 1, 2006. Should you have questions, please contact me. Thank you for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you.

Respectfully,

Margaret E. Brown
Professor of Communication
Studies
MEB@VT2U.EDU

Enclosure

Professor Kerr is under no obligation to respond to the letter at all; if she does respond it is out of 1) professional courtesy, and/or 2) a genuine interest in the letter's request. Accordingly, the letter appeals to Professor Kerr's own professionalism by attempting to convince her that the project is worthy (thus the mention of the text's publisher and intellectual basis) and that the authors are themselves professional (thus the mention of Professor Kerr's work, and the implication that the authors possess at least a passing knowledge of current activity in the field). The mention of Professor Kerr's work also appeals, obviously, to her ego; a reader seeing her own name in print is likely to read the associated text closely; a reader seeing her name and her work in print is likely to give the text undivided attention. Should Professor Kerr decide to refuse the request, the letter's design allows her to stop reading after the second paragraph; if, on the other hand, she is considering a contribution, the third and fourth paragraphs describe precisely the requirements for that contribution.

A letter of inquiry addressed to an organization, especially a large organization, need not rely so heavily upon the persuasive strategies outlined above. Unless the information is classified or the service somehow reserved, even a letter scribbled in crayon will be answered with remarkable speed and courtesy. (A letter scribbled in crayon, of course, will reflect poorly on the professionalism of its author and/or the organization she may represent.)

Sales Letters

An author of a sales letter has a particular audience problem: most people are disinclined to purchase anything, especially something they cannot see. Many consider sales letters "junk mail," and may discard an envelope that seems to be a sales letter without opening it. The author of a sales letter must gain the reader's attention immediately, and keep it until the sale is made, or at least until interest is aroused. There exists no standard format for a sales letter, predictability would in this case be a disadvantage. But there do exist two general strategies: treat the reader as an individual, and make your case as quickly as possible, in one page or less. Both strategies are evident in the following example:

College Landscapers
"The Educated Choice"
11 Dickinson Street
Amherst, Massachusetts 01002

April 8, 2006

Dear Prospective Entrepreneur:

College Landscapers is recruiting for a limited number of management positions. We offer our managers the chance to run their own businesses. Further, we offer training necessary to make sure those businesses are successful. Our experienced staff of instructors lead a three-week session in which you will learn fundamentals of accounting, equipment maintenance and crew management.

Today's competitive job market makes it difficult to find work after college, even for the best students. For this reason work experience during college is more important than ever; a student with such experience shows a potential employer initiative, and skills that others have yet to learn. Experience like this can mean the difference between a "We'll get back to you" and a "Can you start Monday?"

College Landscapers provides its customers professional landscaping at competitive prices. For you, we provide practical business experience that college courses or typical internships never offer. Further, the financial reward is substantial. Last year our summer managers earned an average of $10,000 in three months!

The testimony of former summer managers speaks volumes. Theodore Papperman: "I learned more about business in three months with College Landscapers than I did in four years of college courses." Nancy Dunlop: "College Landscapers taught me more than any internship, and I earned over $8000." Jon Roth: "I was first attracted to the position by the money, but the experience itself was far more valuable."

Take this opportunity to fill out the enclosed card. The number of positions is limited, so don't delay.

Yours,

Scott Taylor
General Manager

Enclosure

The reader is addressed not as "student" but as "prospective entrepreneur", a phrase with which he may never have associated himself, and so more likely to catch his attention. The first paragraph appeals to economic needs, one short-term and one long-term. That the number of positions is limited is obvious (the number of positions for anything is limited); but by drawing attention to this fact the letter supplies further motivation. The entire letter makes liberal use of italics, quotes and exclamation points, all devices used sparingly in most technical communication, but allowed here because they get attention. Finally, the letter concludes asking little from the reader, only that she put some information on an enclosed card.

Technical Business Letters Across Cultures

Members of other cultures are likely to assign slightly different meanings to certain words. In Great Britain, Australia and New Zealand for instance, an author uses the closure "Sincerely" only when she has met the addressee; when writing a letter which introduces herself to someone she has not met, she closes with "Faithfully" as an acknowledgement that both parties will begin communications not so much with knowledge as on faith. The cultures of other countries affect business letters in ways still more fundamental. The French, for instance, are traditionally less concerned with cost and more concerned with quality: consequently, a business letter may refer to costs only on an attached sheet. Businesspersons in Latin American and Mediterranean countries do not make clear distinctions between business activities and social activities, regarding all as pieces of a whole. Consequently, business letters in those places are likely to have a personal, almost conversational tone.

American business letter format reflects the traditional attitude of American business: "Let's get to the point, immediately." Most business letters written in the United States begin with a sentence which tells the reader why she needs to read the letter, and may even summarize the letter. This is not the case in other parts of the world. Of major U.S. trading partners, the Japanese attitude toward business relationships (and, therefore, business letter communication) may be most alien to that of U.S. business. Japanese business regards long-term relationships as more valuable than immediate goals. Consequently, the business letter begins with two rather ceremonious statements: first, an observation of the beauty of the season, and second, an expression of hope that the reader's organization will prosper or continue to prosper. A typical opening paragraph of a letter written in early March might read: "Although nights are still cold, the buds have begun to appear. We are happy to learn of the health of your company, and we hope you continue to thrive." This opening, while genuine, is rigidly formulaic: the only differences are slight changes in phrasing necessary to describe the season of the year. The second paragraph is what Americans might call the "get-down-to-business" paragraph, and even here, the Japanese tone might seem indirect: often the paragraph begins with a phrase like "By the way." All this might seem time-consuming and overly polite to an uninitiated American; and one might wonder how the format accommodates an author who wishes to make a demand or a criticism. It does: the Japanese word which indicates that what follows is important and may be regarded as unpleasant, translated into English, is "Frankly." Accordingly, a reader of a Japanese business letter should regard this word, and words like it, as indications that things may not be running as smoothly as they might.

These are, again, generalities. At the very least, we hope that they suggest something of the ways various cultures change the format many of us have come to take for granted, and the ways a successful technical communicator must adapt himself to cultural contexts.

Discussion

1. Many, if not most of you, have experience with electronic mail. When you use electronic mail do you write differently? Do you write more? Is your tone different? Have you noticed different behavior in the electronic writing of others?

2. Many developments in communications technology occurred within your lifetime, even within your recent memory, among them, telephone answering machines, call waiting, voice mail and cellular phones. Describe and discuss your responses to these or any related technology. Can you recall exactly when and how these machines entered your daily life? Did you welcome them? Resist them? Is a certain technology changing your communication practices now?

Or, take the question outside the classroom. Discuss one or more of these technologies with several people of various ages. Keep a record which includes respondents' age, time they were first exposed to the technology, initial attitude towards it, and present attitude towards it. Describe your findings in a brief essay.

Exercises

1. Compose a letter of inquiry to an organization. Its point of concern may be legal (a question concerning an organization's liability for misuse of their product), academic (a question whose answer would provide assistance in an engineering paper) or merely curious (exactly how fresh are "farm-fresh eggs?").

2. If you are an enrolled student, you are probably sent offers for credit cards on a regular basis. Gather three or four such letters and compose a memo which compares them in terms of tone, reading level and overall appeal, and recommends that one be adopted by the organization with which you are associated.

3. Rewrite the sample "letter of complaint" to a Japanese audience.

Phased Exercise #1

Members of the class will begin work on a large project which will culminate in a final report. As a class, brainstorm a list of problems within the school or local community. Problems may be administrative (a redesigned school calendar), physical (more parking spaces, a central common ground), academic (a series of classes involving members of the school and the local community). Proposals may also be for studies, for instance, an investigation into the criteria by which college or university decides to purchase office supplies or laboratory equipment, or by which the library decides to purchase certain books or journals.

The class will work in groups, each of which will choose or be assigned a problem. Where possible, groups should represent a range of skills and backgrounds. The groups will begin the project by identifying individual strengths relevant to the problem. Each student will compose a directive memo to another student in the group which 1) recognizes the other's strengths, and 2) asks the other to apply those strengths to further investigation.

Further Reading

Booher, Dianna Daniels. Send Me a Memorandum: a Handbook of Model Memorandums. New York: Facts on File, 1984.

Britton, Bruce K. and Glynn, Shawn M., eds. Computer Writing Environments: Theory, Research and Design. Hillsdale, N.J.: Erlbaum, 1989.

Heim, Michael. Electric Language: a Philosophical Study of Word Processing. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1987.

Johnson, Jr., William R. Anything, Anytime, Anywhere: The Future of Networking. Technology 2001: The Future of Computing and Communications. Cambridge, Mass.: The MIT Press, 1991.

LaQuey, Tracy L. , ed. The User's Directory of Computer Networks. Digital Press, 1990.

Levien, Roger E. "The Civilizing Currency: Documents and Their Revolutionary Technologies." Technology 2001: The Future of Computing and Communications. Cambridge, Mass.: The MIT Press, 1991.

Mathes, J.C. and Stevenson Dwight W. Designing Technical Reports. New York: MacMillan Publishing Company, 1991.

Mackin, John. "Surmounting the Barrier Between Japanese and English Technical Documents," Technical Communication 36:4 (Nov, 1989). 346-51.

Sproull, Lee and Kiesler, Sara. Connections: New Ways of Organizing Work in the Networked Organization. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, 1991.

Sippl, Charles J. Data Communications Dictionary. New York: Van Nostrand Reinhold, 1984.

Tepper, Ron. The Only 250 Letters and Memorandums Managers Will Ever Need. New York: Wiley, 1990.

Correspondence
Chapter 9

David M. Toomey with James H. Collier

Book Contents

Chapter 9

Correspondence Chapter 9

David M. Toomey with James H. Collier

Book Contents

Chapter 9

Correspondence
Chapter 9